THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
