i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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