I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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