Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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