the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
