Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize