its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
