you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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