No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
