Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
