i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
