You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
