speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
