why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
