SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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