you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
