just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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