Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
