I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
