Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize