Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
