they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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