As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
