i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize