i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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