Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
