if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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