A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
