i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I want a musical about memes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
