Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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