i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
