talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
