If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize