i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
