I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
3 2 1 whiskey
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
