like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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