her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
