she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
