get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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