Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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