I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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