Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
