I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
