Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Drunk is not a location!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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