you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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