you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
