I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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