butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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