Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
