dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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