Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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