he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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