What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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