Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
