Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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