I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
