I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
