Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
