you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
