First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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