i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
