I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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